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March 2003 Table of Contents
Ministry Insights
Pray For One Another
By Don McMinn
A tavern was being built in a town that until recently had been dry. A group of Christians in a certain church opposed this and began an all-night prayer meeting, asking God to intervene.
Lightning struck the tavern building, and it burned to the ground. The owner brought a lawsuit against the church, claiming they were responsible. The Christians hired a lawyer, claiming that they were not responsible. The judge said, "No matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear. The tavern owner believes in prayer and the Christians do not."
I have a question for you: Do you believe in the power of prayer? If you do: Do you pray for others?
[ In each edition of the J&J Communicator, we're studying a specific One Another of Scripture. Thirty-five times in the New Testament, we see a recurring word pattern–an action verb followed by the words "one another." [ _______ one another] For instance, we are told to: prefer, accept, greet, encourage, forgive, comfort, wait for, honor…one another. Learn how to do these key verbs and you'll learn how to relate to others in a loving, Christ-like manner. Improve your relationship skills and you'll be a more effective minister of music. ]
In the last edition we considered Encourage One Another. Now, let's discuss: Pray for One Another–James 5:16
Different Types of Prayer
The apostle Paul makes it clear that there are different types of prayers: "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayer"
(Ephesians 6:18; italics added). The types of prayer include:
Prayers of confession—"God, have mercy on me, a sinner" (Luke 18:13).
Prayers of gratitude—"I always thank God for you" (1 Corinthians 1:4).
Prayers of worship—"I thank and praise you, O God" (Daniel 2:23).
Personal prayers—"Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory" (1 Chronicles 4:10).
The admonition to Pray for One Another is intercessory prayer. Intercession is making an appeal or petition on behalf of someone else. Christ is involved in this ministry: "He (Jesus) always lives to intercede for them" (Hebrews 7:25), as is the Holy Spirit, "The Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" (Romans 8:26).
Prerequisites for Praying for One Another
1. In your relationships, develop a deep level of care, vulnerability and trust so that people will feel safe in sharing personal prayer requests with you.
I can usually access how emotionally close a group of people is by simply asking for prayer requests. For instance, I recently taught a weekend retreat for a church and we ended the Friday evening session with a time of prayer. When I asked, "Does anyone have a prayer request?" I received these responses:
"Please pray for one of my co-workers, her daughter was diagnosed with cancer."
"I have an aunt that lives in Chicago. The pastor of her church just abruptly resigned and it's thrown the church into chaos."
"We need to pray for our elected officials in Washington D.C."
Interestingly, not one prayer request was for anyone in the room–they all involved "long distance" needs. While there's certainly nothing wrong with voicing these types of prayer concerns, it doesn't satisfy the admonition to Pray for One Another. We need to pray for one another. The emphasis should be on, "How can I pray for you?" Not, your co-worker's daughter, your aunt's church or elected officials.
In other groups, vulnerable sharing goes a little deeper. When asked, "How can I pray for you?" the responses might include:
"We're going on vacation next week; pray that we'll have a safe trip."
"I'm trying to sell my car; pray that it will sell."
"Pray for my father, he fell and broke his leg."
Again, there's nothing wrong with these requests and they should certainly be prayed for, but we need to go deeper still.
Imagine the closeness and security of a friendship in which these types of requests could be voiced:
"We're really struggling with my son. He's starting to have a rebellious attitude and we don't know how to handle it."
"I've been feeling depressed lately."
"I'm really unhappy at my job."
Hopefully, in time, our prayer requests can include personal, deep-felt needs.
One of the best ways to encourage others to be vulnerable about their needs is to be open about your own. Vulnerability must be reciprocal. I shouldn't expect you to share your struggles with me, unless I am willing to share mine with you.
We must also develop a genuine sense of care for others. Why would someone be willing to vulnerably share her prayer requests with me if she's not convinced that I am concerned for and interested in her life?
Pray for One Another will become natural and effective when our relationships are a "safe place." Likewise, our churches, small groups–any corporate expression of the body of Christ–must have this "safe" dimension.
2. Establish a secure measure of confidentiality in your friendships.
Whenever I counsel people, at the beginning of the first session, I always reassure them of three things:
- There's nothing you can share with me that will cause me to love you less. What we talk about in our counseling sessions will not affect our friendship in any way.
- There's nothing you can share with me that I haven't heard many times before. (People often think, "I doubt if Pastor Don has ever heard anything as bad as this...")
- I pledge to you complete confidentiality. Whatever you share with me will not be repeated to anyone else.
For Pray for One Another to really work, these three assurances need to be in place. People will not be vulnerable with their needs and hurts unless they know that you will not think less of them because of their neediness and, they must be secure in your confidentiality.
Practical Ways to Pray For One Another
1. Keep a prayer journal. "I have written both of them as reminders" (2 Peter 3:1).
It helps to keep a written record of prayer needs and corresponding answers to prayer. Find a method that works for you. A prayer journal may be a single sheet of paper you keep in your Bible or in your daily planner. It may be a designated book. You may prefer to keep your prayer journal on your computer. Whatever system you adopt, use it regularly and keep it updated.
2. Pray for people "on the spot." "And when he had said this, he knelt down with all of them and prayed" (Act 20:36).
Whenever someone shares a prayer need with me or I sense she needs prayer, I ask to pray with her at that moment. I also assure her that I will continue to pray for her need in the future, but she will be uniquely blessed by being prayed for "on the spot." In this sense, consider changing the preposition in Pray for One Another to Pray with One Another. Many times we tell people, "I'll be praying for you," but then we inadvertently forget. Instead of making a promise I may forget to fulfill, I usually ask, "May I pray for you right now?" I have never been refused.
3. Encourage people to share their needs and prayer requests.
"Brothers, pray for us" (1 Thessalonians 5:25). In order for Pray for One Another to work best, everyone needs to share prayer requests. Though it is possible to discern the needs of others and pray for them even if they don't request prayer, it's beneficial and even therapeutic for us to voice our requests. Sharing prayer requests with others requires humility on our part and underscores the interdependence of the body of Christ. When we share requests we confess our neediness of God and others. If a person never expresses any prayer needs he or she may suffer from self-reliance and self-sufficiency.
4. Let people know that you are praying for them.
"We constantly pray for you" (1 Thessalonians 1:11). When you pray for people, tell them. They will be blessed to know that you were thinking of them and that you care for them and your prayers may also encourage them to seek God themselves.
5. Whenever possible, pray for others about specific areas of concern.
"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith" (Philemon 1:6). While it is okay to pray a general prayer for someone, such as, "Lord, bless John," it is more effective to pray specifically, "Lord, help John find a job." We often pray like the ten-year-old boy who put his prayer request in the offering plate—"Dear Pastor, please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow"—we often only pray in generalities.
6. Designate a specific time and place to pray for others.
"Jesus went out into the hills to pray, and spent the night praying to God" (Luke 6:12). [Also see Matthew 14:23, Mark 6:46 and Luke 9:28. Apparently, Jesus often went into the hills to pray.] It is advantageous to have a consistent, predetermined time and place to pray. I pray every morning for my family and friends while sitting in my den. I often set aside one day a month for a time of prayer and fasting.
7. Maintain spontaneous times of prayer.
"We constantly pray for you" (2 Thessalonians 1:11). While it's helpful to maintain a daily ritual of prayer (see #6 above), it's also good to "pray continually" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). During the day—while driving around town or eating lunch—pray for others. When someone "pops into your mind," accept that as a cue from God to pray for that person.
8. Realize that praying for others will be demanding on us.
"He [Ephaphras] is always wrestling in prayer for you" (Colossians 4:12).As with all of the One Anothers, Pray for One Another is a service that requires time and effort, especially when the burdens of others become our own burden (2 Corinthians 11:28).
9. Pray continually for others.
"We have not stopped praying for you" (Colossians 1:9). We will often be called upon to pray for someone for a long time, perhaps years. For example, one day George Muller, a 19th century preacher known for establishing orphanages to care for thousands of English children, began praying for five of his friends. After many months, one of them came to the Lord. Ten years later, two others were converted. It took 25 years before the fourth man was saved. Muller persevered in prayer until his death for the fifth friend, and throughout those 52 years he never gave up hoping that he would accept Christ! His faith was rewarded, for soon after Muller's funeral, the last one was saved. [Our Daily Bread, January 13]
10. See Pray for One Another as a cue to engage in other "One Anothers."
As we pray for others we will become aware of other "One Anothers" that may need to be ministered. For instance, my wife and I had several couples over for dinner one evening (Show Hospitality to One Another) and after dinner we had a time of prayer. One couple, who were new to our church, shared that the husband had lost his job several months before. They were obviously struggling emotionally, financially and spiritually. As a group, we immediately comforted them (Comfort One Another) and then prayed together. Our time together became a precursor for further ministry.
Encourage One Another–I called them weekly to see how they were doing.
Bear One Another's Burdens–I emailed his resume to our church leadership and made several calls to friends who could also help spread the word.
Honor One Another–I discovered that the wife enjoyed singing and the husband was a gifted teacher so I made some calls and got them involved in the choir and teaching a Bible study.
Yogi Berra, the great baseball catcher, was playing in a ball game in which the score was tied, with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning. The batter from the opposing team stepped up to the batting box and made the sign of the cross on home plate with his bat. Berra was a Catholic, too, but he wiped off the plate with his glove and said to the pious batter, Why don't we let God just watch this game?
That's good theology when applied to the outcome of a baseball game but it's terrible advice when it comes to the heartfelt needs of our friends. We need to intercede on behalf of our friends, asking for God's wisdom, mercy and grace to be poured out on their lives. We need to continually approach the throne of God on behalf of our friends and ask God to exert himself strongly on their behalf.
We need to Pray for One Another.
Don McMinn is the executive director of Strong Ties ministry–a fraternity of worship leaders, and sponsors the annual Worship Leaders' Retreat (annual retreats that focus on relationships in the ministry). You may reach him at djmcminn@msn.com or at www.6Acts.org.
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